A Tale of Independence...

Hello my friends!! It's Trevor here again, for our monthly tale. By our title, you might think we are going to share about Independence Day. You couldn't be more mistaken. I would like to wish our readers a Happy 4th of July on Wednesday. Now that is out of the way. BOL

This is a tale about independence in a different sense. Brenda has lived on her own, since she was 21 years old. One of her older sisters Iris, was getting married, so her sister Bev, who has since passed, and Brenda, would have to find different places to live. Brenda had lived with Iris and Bev, since she graduated from college. She now had a full-time job, so this was going to be feasible. 

There is also an interesting fact about all of this. Brenda lived in the same apartment complex back then, that she lives in now. She was looking for apartments in the newspaper, and called to check that one out. When the manager told her, where it was located, she said she used to live there. She first moved there in 1979. This was now 1992, almost a year after she was diagnosed with RA. I got a little ahead of myself, but I felt some background was necessary. Are you still with me, folks? BOL

Anyway, back to our tale. Brenda had been working for several months full-time, so she started looking for apartments on her lunch break. Brenda would walk, because she needed to find an apartment within walking distance. She came upon this one, and asked to see it. It turns out the couple was blind and she would be living in the lower level of the house. While he was showing her around, he kept shutting off the lights. It all made sense after realizing he was blind, but it was puzzling at first to Brenda. So that evening Brenda had Bev come by and look at it with her. She thought it was a nice place and it was less than 3 blocks from work, so it seemed a good fit.

Brenda ended up moving there the beginning of May in 1981, several weeks before her sister's wedding. Bev also found a place, which she occupied along with her place on the farm, until her death in 2003. Another interesting fact, Bev got married in 1988, the same year Brenda started her present full-time job. Did you notice that her last 2 full-time jobs were centered around the year her sisters got married? 

Brenda enjoyed living in this apartment house very much. She shared the use of the washer and dryer, with her landlady. They had a good system. They would invite her up for treats. Their son would come over to check on them, as they were both blind, but I might add independent. Get, where we are going with this? The landlord was a piano tuner and her landlady ran a coffee shop. They didn't feel sorry for themselves because they were blind. They made the best of it. 

Brenda found out that a new eye clinic was being built and a parking lot was needed. Any guesses where? Even stranger, was the fact that Brenda worked at the time, for this eye clinic. Her landlord showed her the article in the newspaper. Once again, Brenda was not told by her employer, that this was happening. Seems to be a pattern. 

There was even a story about driving past this place and telling her boss that she lived there. He said, "Oh." They had the groundbreaking ceremony and Brenda jokes that she cried, but she really didn't. She had found another place to live and it was within walking distance. This new location of the eye clinic, would even be closer. So this was Brenda's 2nd place to live on her own. 

As she was getting more furniture, she found that she would need a bigger place. So in 1986, she finally found her first real apartment. The first two were in houses, so there were no laundry fees, which was a great savings. 

Her next apartment was closer to a grocery store, hair salon, so there was some great advantages, right? BOL  Both have since closed or moved, as did Brenda in 1992. The plan was to move in 1991, but life had other ideas. Brenda was finally diagnosed with RA in May of 1991. 

This pretty much stopped Brenda in her tracks. What was she going to do? Would she be able to remain independent and even employed? She walked to the library and started to find out all she could about living with arthritis, by watching VHS videos. She decided in order to remain independent, she had to learn all she could about this disease. 

She fought hard to keep her independence and her job. Anyone who knows Brenda or comes in contact with her, will find out early on, that she is a fighter! 

She was 31 years old, not married, so disability was not an option. What good would that have done? Brenda has beaten so many odds. In 2008 she faced another challenge, becoming a brain tumor survivor. She was still living alone. She would sometimes stay with her mother, during the weekends, as that was her request, after the death of her father in 2007. 

There was a time after her brain surgery, that the nights were especially hard to stay alone. She would sometimes stay with her mother during the week. She had not lost her independence completely. She was still making a living, by working full-time. This was a process and it would take time and patience. It's no longer an issue. It was all part of her recovery and realizes now, that it was part of her frontal lobe syndrome. 

When Brenda was prescribed her biologic in 2001, it was decided early on, that she would learn to do her own injections. That was one of the ways that Brenda could remain independent. This disease was not going to take that away from her. 

We're not trying to say here, that living alone is always easy. Sure, Brenda gets lonely and enjoys companionship. Who doesn't? No one should ever feel alone. Living alone is just one of the ways of being independent. There is also being able to take care of your personal needs. There are many aspects, when it comes to independence. 

Brenda wanted to bring out here, that when you live with a chronic disease such as RA, that isn't always easy. It is possible to remain independent, even in small areas, such as being able to administer your medications. It somehow keeps you in control and in charge. 

We hope you enjoyed this tale of independence. You can even be independent in small ways, living with others in your home. Find what makes you independent, and go from there. 

~T Man~

We wish all of our readers, a Happy Independence Day!!