Tale of Fractured Relationships...
Hello my fellow readers! It's Trevor here again, to share our monthly tale. We are going to be exploring the topic of relationships, particularly those that can break down, due to a number of circumstances. In Brenda's case, dealing with unkind comments causing fractured friendships, that simply had to be cut off.
Before I go on, me being a dog, it seems that humans make this so much harder than it has to be. If I have a disagreement with one of my own, we battle it out over a bone. BOL Most times, I let them have the bone, to keep the peace! I really don't have that much trouble with other dogs, as we are known to have big hearts. You've probably heard the expression; "If people would only have the hearts of dogs, it would be a much better place." We deal with our problems and then move on. A dog does not hold a grudge. We are faithful and always waiting for you, when you get home. We may jump on you, to show our affection. Who am I kidding, I can't jump. BOL
I do however, think there are several female golden girls on Facebook, that are beautiful. Lola the Golden Retriever from Mexico, who I admire from a far. Brenda lets me look at her page. Darbi Jo the Golden Retriever or aka "The Laugh Maker" is always on an adventure of bug hunting or chasing squirrels. Her fur sister Copper, has really come a long way. She has such a beautiful tail and her sugar face is a wonder to behold. She is a Cougar in my doggy book. Bow Wow! BOL!
Told you, I was going to add dog lingo into this blog post. BOL Seriously, I am going to get into Brenda's experience with relationships, good and bad.
Brenda will pretty much play with anyone in the sandbox. This is an expression. She doesn't actually go into a sandbox. BOL What this means is that Brenda has had encounters with many kinds of individuals.
When you are diagnosed with a serious illness such as rheumatoid arthritis (RA), you find out rather quickly who your real friends are. For one, you are still trying to get acclimated to living with this disease. It's lifelong, so please give the newly diagnosed person a chance to process all of this.
Brenda's mother was truly the only one in her family, who got this. I think that is why they became best friends later in life and especially when they were faced head on, with the dealing of Brenda's father's illness of Alzheimer's. Her mother needed an ally and that truly was Brenda.
Brenda's family dealt with another blow just before her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The illness and passing of Brenda's sister was devastating to the whole family. Her sister was considered the core of that family unit. So with her passing, there was definitely a fracture. See where I am going with this? Some of what is about to be shared is going to be uncomfortable. We make no apologies for this. Keeping things bottled up inside is not good for your health or well-being.
As you know Brenda also deals with another challenge. That being a brain tumor survivor and also living with a brain injury.
Brenda has a big heart, so when she sees someone being wronged, it hurts. It also hurts, when others say nasty things such as; "You have an ugly personality." You're so negative." "Nothing is ever good enough for you." Just for the record all of these things that were said, are by those who are no longer a part of Brenda's life. She finally had to cut ties with all of them. The sad thing is, that these were relationships or friendships that were ongoing for decades.
Brenda was there for them in their time of need. It actually was pretty wearing, to have to listen to all of their woes, yet when Brenda was faced with living with RA and becoming a BT survivor, all of that kindness that was shown by Brenda, was not reciprocated. Instead, the claws came out and their true colors were revealed.
Brenda tried so hard, after that incident of hearing that she had an ugly personality in a room full of brain tumor survivors, to salvage that now fractured friendship. Brenda's hope is that some considered the source, but can you imagine how humiliating this had to have been for Brenda? She excused herself and went to another table. It was a meet and greet, so she simply decided to mingle.
The thing that hurt the most, was that this was an all expense paid trip on Brenda's dime. The airfare, hotel, etc. Yes, her friend helped with some expenses, but not even a thank-you for the trip. Brenda became ill and they ended up having to drive home, instead of flying again. Brenda became ill on 3 out of 4 flights and another one, was going to be impossible to accomplish. Brenda again paid for that trip home. Brenda thanked her friend several times, for driving home.
It became apparent at this time, that she would never attempt another trip like this again. Fortunately, she had taken out travel insurance, at the advice of her mother. They had to already cancel her reservation, because she became ill and had to go into the nursing home. That was taken care of, largely in part, because her doctor helped with the paperwork in getting a refund. The insurance company came through again and paid for the car rental home. Delta actually came through with reimbursing Brenda for the flight home, that she could not take. All things considered, it was a pretty painless experience.
This trip was to be fun for Brenda. Her doctor insisted she take it, as she had been taking care of details for her mother, and simply needed a break. She met some wonderful brain tumor survivors that weekend. Some, she still keeps in contact with on Facebook. I think social media is wonderful in that regard.
Brenda's personality has changed. No doubt! It just seemed when Brenda needed these friends for support, they simply were not there. She was not allowed to express her true feelings, or it would come across as negative, demanding, or having an ugly personality. Believe me, these situations caused Brenda to not even want be around others.
Her mother was dying, Brenda was dealing with a torn tendon and wearing an air cast. She was working full-time and felt so alone.
I really think that heart-to-heart that Brenda had with her mother in the nursing home was meant to happen. It became the essence of what Brenda strives to do every day. Brenda's mother made her promise to live her life and in turn, her mother would always live in her heart. That meant giving her strength when needed and courage.
That definitely happened the following year, when she became a true advocate. Brenda had already blossomed as a writer, with starting this blog. Allowing me to become her storyteller was genius. Who wouldn't want to read tales from a golden retriever's point of view? BOL
We are a team and I would never say unkind words. I am here to love and support my friend and companion. Brenda has done a wonderful job of bringing me to life. There are some of you out there, that think, I'm real. Brenda's mother said, I would be her companion for years to come.
Brenda and her mother were a great team. She was her best friend. They didn't always agree. Even friends have disagreements.
My point here is, if you are truly a friend, you will listen, try to understand and always give that person the benefit of the doubt. Fractured relationships never work. They ultimately become one-sided and that is too much for that other person to bear.
Brenda will always have your back. She would like to know, that the same remains for her as well.
She also believes that your true circle of friends, should be small. You don't need to share your whole life story, with everyone you come in contact with. There are another group of friends, called acquaintances which can be beneficial in your life. The connections that you make, however big or small, can have an impact on your life.
Brenda has become much less social in the real world. She practices self-care. It's for her own good and well-being. Her mental health is much more important, because she deals with a lot more, mostly on her own. We know some of you do too.
I hope you enjoy my weekly messages on Facebook. We strive to find those that will encourage and help enrich your lives.
Final thought; Relationships and friendships need to be a two-way street. If you find that you are the only person actively involved in that said relationship or friendship, it's probably time to head for the hills.
This is Trevor, sending Peace and Golden Hugs! BOL
~T Man~
Before I go on, me being a dog, it seems that humans make this so much harder than it has to be. If I have a disagreement with one of my own, we battle it out over a bone. BOL Most times, I let them have the bone, to keep the peace! I really don't have that much trouble with other dogs, as we are known to have big hearts. You've probably heard the expression; "If people would only have the hearts of dogs, it would be a much better place." We deal with our problems and then move on. A dog does not hold a grudge. We are faithful and always waiting for you, when you get home. We may jump on you, to show our affection. Who am I kidding, I can't jump. BOL
I do however, think there are several female golden girls on Facebook, that are beautiful. Lola the Golden Retriever from Mexico, who I admire from a far. Brenda lets me look at her page. Darbi Jo the Golden Retriever or aka "The Laugh Maker" is always on an adventure of bug hunting or chasing squirrels. Her fur sister Copper, has really come a long way. She has such a beautiful tail and her sugar face is a wonder to behold. She is a Cougar in my doggy book. Bow Wow! BOL!
Told you, I was going to add dog lingo into this blog post. BOL Seriously, I am going to get into Brenda's experience with relationships, good and bad.
Brenda will pretty much play with anyone in the sandbox. This is an expression. She doesn't actually go into a sandbox. BOL What this means is that Brenda has had encounters with many kinds of individuals.
When you are diagnosed with a serious illness such as rheumatoid arthritis (RA), you find out rather quickly who your real friends are. For one, you are still trying to get acclimated to living with this disease. It's lifelong, so please give the newly diagnosed person a chance to process all of this.
Brenda's mother was truly the only one in her family, who got this. I think that is why they became best friends later in life and especially when they were faced head on, with the dealing of Brenda's father's illness of Alzheimer's. Her mother needed an ally and that truly was Brenda.
Brenda's family dealt with another blow just before her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The illness and passing of Brenda's sister was devastating to the whole family. Her sister was considered the core of that family unit. So with her passing, there was definitely a fracture. See where I am going with this? Some of what is about to be shared is going to be uncomfortable. We make no apologies for this. Keeping things bottled up inside is not good for your health or well-being.
As you know Brenda also deals with another challenge. That being a brain tumor survivor and also living with a brain injury.
Brenda has a big heart, so when she sees someone being wronged, it hurts. It also hurts, when others say nasty things such as; "You have an ugly personality." You're so negative." "Nothing is ever good enough for you." Just for the record all of these things that were said, are by those who are no longer a part of Brenda's life. She finally had to cut ties with all of them. The sad thing is, that these were relationships or friendships that were ongoing for decades.
Brenda was there for them in their time of need. It actually was pretty wearing, to have to listen to all of their woes, yet when Brenda was faced with living with RA and becoming a BT survivor, all of that kindness that was shown by Brenda, was not reciprocated. Instead, the claws came out and their true colors were revealed.
Brenda tried so hard, after that incident of hearing that she had an ugly personality in a room full of brain tumor survivors, to salvage that now fractured friendship. Brenda's hope is that some considered the source, but can you imagine how humiliating this had to have been for Brenda? She excused herself and went to another table. It was a meet and greet, so she simply decided to mingle.
The thing that hurt the most, was that this was an all expense paid trip on Brenda's dime. The airfare, hotel, etc. Yes, her friend helped with some expenses, but not even a thank-you for the trip. Brenda became ill and they ended up having to drive home, instead of flying again. Brenda became ill on 3 out of 4 flights and another one, was going to be impossible to accomplish. Brenda again paid for that trip home. Brenda thanked her friend several times, for driving home.
It became apparent at this time, that she would never attempt another trip like this again. Fortunately, she had taken out travel insurance, at the advice of her mother. They had to already cancel her reservation, because she became ill and had to go into the nursing home. That was taken care of, largely in part, because her doctor helped with the paperwork in getting a refund. The insurance company came through again and paid for the car rental home. Delta actually came through with reimbursing Brenda for the flight home, that she could not take. All things considered, it was a pretty painless experience.
This trip was to be fun for Brenda. Her doctor insisted she take it, as she had been taking care of details for her mother, and simply needed a break. She met some wonderful brain tumor survivors that weekend. Some, she still keeps in contact with on Facebook. I think social media is wonderful in that regard.
Brenda's personality has changed. No doubt! It just seemed when Brenda needed these friends for support, they simply were not there. She was not allowed to express her true feelings, or it would come across as negative, demanding, or having an ugly personality. Believe me, these situations caused Brenda to not even want be around others.
Her mother was dying, Brenda was dealing with a torn tendon and wearing an air cast. She was working full-time and felt so alone.
I really think that heart-to-heart that Brenda had with her mother in the nursing home was meant to happen. It became the essence of what Brenda strives to do every day. Brenda's mother made her promise to live her life and in turn, her mother would always live in her heart. That meant giving her strength when needed and courage.
That definitely happened the following year, when she became a true advocate. Brenda had already blossomed as a writer, with starting this blog. Allowing me to become her storyteller was genius. Who wouldn't want to read tales from a golden retriever's point of view? BOL
We are a team and I would never say unkind words. I am here to love and support my friend and companion. Brenda has done a wonderful job of bringing me to life. There are some of you out there, that think, I'm real. Brenda's mother said, I would be her companion for years to come.
Brenda and her mother were a great team. She was her best friend. They didn't always agree. Even friends have disagreements.
My point here is, if you are truly a friend, you will listen, try to understand and always give that person the benefit of the doubt. Fractured relationships never work. They ultimately become one-sided and that is too much for that other person to bear.
Brenda will always have your back. She would like to know, that the same remains for her as well.
She also believes that your true circle of friends, should be small. You don't need to share your whole life story, with everyone you come in contact with. There are another group of friends, called acquaintances which can be beneficial in your life. The connections that you make, however big or small, can have an impact on your life.
Brenda has become much less social in the real world. She practices self-care. It's for her own good and well-being. Her mental health is much more important, because she deals with a lot more, mostly on her own. We know some of you do too.
I hope you enjoy my weekly messages on Facebook. We strive to find those that will encourage and help enrich your lives.
Final thought; Relationships and friendships need to be a two-way street. If you find that you are the only person actively involved in that said relationship or friendship, it's probably time to head for the hills.
This is Trevor, sending Peace and Golden Hugs! BOL
~T Man~
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