A Tale of Confessions...
Hello my fellow readers! Trevor here, with our monthly tale. This time folks, it's a serious one from the heart. Make that Brenda's, as she has been bending my golden ear. BOL
As you know, Brenda had a craniotomy performed on September 8, 2008, to remove a right frontal lobe nonmalignant meningioma brain tumor. It has been said that brain surgery equals brain injury. In this case, an acquired brain injury. What that is folks, is something that happened as the brain was injured. After all, they did use a Midas drill on her head, to open the bone flap, so they could get to the tumor. It was fairly easy to get at, and they were able to remove it ALL, in one piece.
While that was a relief, this journey was just beginning. Brenda felt that after she had this removed, that her life would go on, as if nothing had happened. That is far from the truth. This tale is all about confessions. Brenda thought it was high time, that you hear about some of the things she has gone through.
First, when you go through something like this, you need time to adjust. Even before her procedure, her mother and Brenda, decided they didn't want a lot of people knowing. They were obviously in shock, as I'm sure you would be. They only had 4 days to prepare and Brenda would be staying with her mother, at least for a week, after the surgery.
It worked out, because Brenda was so sick after, that visitors wouldn't have been a great idea in the hospital. It was hard enough to sleep at night with the nurses stations being so noisy, as Brenda's room was right near it. This was the ICU, why do you need to be so loud?
One of the confessions is that Brenda can no longer tolerate loud noises. Cars with loud motors, as she passes while walking, gets on her nerves. High pitched noises, loud talking, especially someone who is right next to you. Talking too fast, that you cannot grasp what someone is saying. This has happened to Brenda with phone conversations. You are not an auctioneer, for golden's sake.
These may seem petty to you, but imagine that now you live a completely different type of normal. Brenda does pretty well for having done this for 10½ years.
Another thing, your circle of friends will change. Those you thought would be with you, may not be able to handle your new normal. They may say things like; " You have an ugly personality." This happened to Brenda in a room full of brain tumor survivors. This is the same person, who came to Brenda's apartment crying after she had walked off her job, after a disagreement. She ended up going back, but not before Brenda had to call another friend, to help calm her down. When the tables were turned and Brenda needed understanding, it was not there. No fault of their own. No person knows how to understand another with a brain injury, because they don't live with it themselves.
You are fooling yourself, if you think your longtime friendships will endure, because they probably will not. You are a different person now. Frontal lobe syndrome is part of that acquired brain injury, where you can become angry quicker or brought to tears. In Brenda's case it's a blessing and a curse. As you know, Brenda became a writer as a result of this experience. That took almost a year, before that creative juice, which we call a lemon, was opened and she started blogging. This blog is going to be 10 years old, later this year.
The curse is the anger which usually occurs, when Brenda sees someone she cares about being wronged. She can also cry while watching a TV show or listening to music. It took almost a year to understand what was really going on. It was scary, because Brenda thought that something seriously was wrong with her.
Another friend told her that nothing was good enough for her and that she was negative. This same person, Brenda endured for years, having to listen to the same stories over and over. She just got finished telling Brenda the whole sorted story, then she would have to listen to it again, as they would meet someone else. It became wearing. It is wearing. When you are dealing with an acquired brain injury, such as frontal lobe syndrome, you do not NEED that extra stress.
Brenda will shut down, if you come at her. It's too much stimulation and hard to deal with. Bright lights are also hard for Brenda to deal with. She likes Target, but cannot be in that store too long. It's way too bright and starts to grate on her nerves.
She has been really struggling with her rheumatoid arthritis (RA) this winter. I can't even begin to imagine living in chronic pain, along with dealing with an acquired brain injury on top of that.
Brenda's personality changed, but in good ways too. This is what we want you to see. She has stepped out of her comfort zone and tried new things. She would have never considered making that one bold move, before her brain surgery. Brenda is not outgoing by nature. She likes to test the waters first, before going in too deep. These are expressions, but you get the idea. That bold move was making a call to CreakyJoints to find out more about their project; Dealing with RA in the Workplace.
It opened doors for Brenda, that she couldn't have imagined. She was afraid because of her brain injury, that she may not be able to perform the tasks at hand. Brenda gets very fatigued, more so since having gone through the craniotomy. The pain with RA, is like carrying around a ball and chain. She also deals with head pain at times with barometer head. That is a REAL thing. It's like your head is inflamed, much like her joints with RA.
She cannot and will not separate her 2 challenges. She signatures herself as a brain tumor survivor who lives with RA. Her RA was truly a blessing at the time of her brain surgery, because she did not have occupational or physical therapy after. She had already been doing what needed to be done, and so that was one less thing to worry about.
Brenda would not have even considered standing before a committee at her state capitol, had she not had some experience the year prior, being 2012 with CreakyJoints. Yes, that project worked out just fine. Shy Brenda, did a local TV and newspaper interview. She also had 4 meetings that day. She was tired after that day and went right to bed. She missed seeing herself on the 6 and 10 o'clock news.
Brenda recently did a Facebook Live with her new friend, who is the founder of Hope after Head Injury, while at the state capitol for Brain Injury Awareness Day. She had a chance to share a few things she deals with regarding her acquired brain injury. Those on the chat could resonate, with what she was sharing. Again after that day, Brenda was tired, but glad she made the long walk to the capitol.
Another confession; Brenda dislikes it, when she is formulating a thought and someone suddenly breaks in and has to share at that moment. It's suddenly gone and Brenda forgot or cannot bring back what she was going to say. Don't tell her; "Oh you will remember it." How do you know? It's frustrating and rude!
Brenda does not like it, when you refer to her brain tumor as having been Benign. That WORD has to go! She prefers you use the words nonmalignant or noncancerous instead. Don't discount what she went through. So, she didn't have a 10 or 12 hour surgery. Hers was 1½ hours, but it was still serious. Something happened that day. Brenda is a different person. It's her new normal and she is fine with it. If you are not, it's your problem.
~T Man Barking Off~
Image Unknown Source
As you know, Brenda had a craniotomy performed on September 8, 2008, to remove a right frontal lobe nonmalignant meningioma brain tumor. It has been said that brain surgery equals brain injury. In this case, an acquired brain injury. What that is folks, is something that happened as the brain was injured. After all, they did use a Midas drill on her head, to open the bone flap, so they could get to the tumor. It was fairly easy to get at, and they were able to remove it ALL, in one piece.
While that was a relief, this journey was just beginning. Brenda felt that after she had this removed, that her life would go on, as if nothing had happened. That is far from the truth. This tale is all about confessions. Brenda thought it was high time, that you hear about some of the things she has gone through.
First, when you go through something like this, you need time to adjust. Even before her procedure, her mother and Brenda, decided they didn't want a lot of people knowing. They were obviously in shock, as I'm sure you would be. They only had 4 days to prepare and Brenda would be staying with her mother, at least for a week, after the surgery.
It worked out, because Brenda was so sick after, that visitors wouldn't have been a great idea in the hospital. It was hard enough to sleep at night with the nurses stations being so noisy, as Brenda's room was right near it. This was the ICU, why do you need to be so loud?
One of the confessions is that Brenda can no longer tolerate loud noises. Cars with loud motors, as she passes while walking, gets on her nerves. High pitched noises, loud talking, especially someone who is right next to you. Talking too fast, that you cannot grasp what someone is saying. This has happened to Brenda with phone conversations. You are not an auctioneer, for golden's sake.
These may seem petty to you, but imagine that now you live a completely different type of normal. Brenda does pretty well for having done this for 10½ years.
Another thing, your circle of friends will change. Those you thought would be with you, may not be able to handle your new normal. They may say things like; " You have an ugly personality." This happened to Brenda in a room full of brain tumor survivors. This is the same person, who came to Brenda's apartment crying after she had walked off her job, after a disagreement. She ended up going back, but not before Brenda had to call another friend, to help calm her down. When the tables were turned and Brenda needed understanding, it was not there. No fault of their own. No person knows how to understand another with a brain injury, because they don't live with it themselves.
You are fooling yourself, if you think your longtime friendships will endure, because they probably will not. You are a different person now. Frontal lobe syndrome is part of that acquired brain injury, where you can become angry quicker or brought to tears. In Brenda's case it's a blessing and a curse. As you know, Brenda became a writer as a result of this experience. That took almost a year, before that creative juice, which we call a lemon, was opened and she started blogging. This blog is going to be 10 years old, later this year.
The curse is the anger which usually occurs, when Brenda sees someone she cares about being wronged. She can also cry while watching a TV show or listening to music. It took almost a year to understand what was really going on. It was scary, because Brenda thought that something seriously was wrong with her.
Another friend told her that nothing was good enough for her and that she was negative. This same person, Brenda endured for years, having to listen to the same stories over and over. She just got finished telling Brenda the whole sorted story, then she would have to listen to it again, as they would meet someone else. It became wearing. It is wearing. When you are dealing with an acquired brain injury, such as frontal lobe syndrome, you do not NEED that extra stress.
Brenda will shut down, if you come at her. It's too much stimulation and hard to deal with. Bright lights are also hard for Brenda to deal with. She likes Target, but cannot be in that store too long. It's way too bright and starts to grate on her nerves.
She has been really struggling with her rheumatoid arthritis (RA) this winter. I can't even begin to imagine living in chronic pain, along with dealing with an acquired brain injury on top of that.
Brenda's personality changed, but in good ways too. This is what we want you to see. She has stepped out of her comfort zone and tried new things. She would have never considered making that one bold move, before her brain surgery. Brenda is not outgoing by nature. She likes to test the waters first, before going in too deep. These are expressions, but you get the idea. That bold move was making a call to CreakyJoints to find out more about their project; Dealing with RA in the Workplace.
It opened doors for Brenda, that she couldn't have imagined. She was afraid because of her brain injury, that she may not be able to perform the tasks at hand. Brenda gets very fatigued, more so since having gone through the craniotomy. The pain with RA, is like carrying around a ball and chain. She also deals with head pain at times with barometer head. That is a REAL thing. It's like your head is inflamed, much like her joints with RA.
She cannot and will not separate her 2 challenges. She signatures herself as a brain tumor survivor who lives with RA. Her RA was truly a blessing at the time of her brain surgery, because she did not have occupational or physical therapy after. She had already been doing what needed to be done, and so that was one less thing to worry about.
Brenda would not have even considered standing before a committee at her state capitol, had she not had some experience the year prior, being 2012 with CreakyJoints. Yes, that project worked out just fine. Shy Brenda, did a local TV and newspaper interview. She also had 4 meetings that day. She was tired after that day and went right to bed. She missed seeing herself on the 6 and 10 o'clock news.
Brenda recently did a Facebook Live with her new friend, who is the founder of Hope after Head Injury, while at the state capitol for Brain Injury Awareness Day. She had a chance to share a few things she deals with regarding her acquired brain injury. Those on the chat could resonate, with what she was sharing. Again after that day, Brenda was tired, but glad she made the long walk to the capitol.
Another confession; Brenda dislikes it, when she is formulating a thought and someone suddenly breaks in and has to share at that moment. It's suddenly gone and Brenda forgot or cannot bring back what she was going to say. Don't tell her; "Oh you will remember it." How do you know? It's frustrating and rude!
Brenda does not like it, when you refer to her brain tumor as having been Benign. That WORD has to go! She prefers you use the words nonmalignant or noncancerous instead. Don't discount what she went through. So, she didn't have a 10 or 12 hour surgery. Hers was 1½ hours, but it was still serious. Something happened that day. Brenda is a different person. It's her new normal and she is fine with it. If you are not, it's your problem.
~T Man Barking Off~
Image Unknown Source
Do you...
ReplyDelete1) love Almighty God?
2) love your neighbor?
Cya Upstairs someday ♥️
Always amazing to me I admire you for your persistence your special helper Trevor and that you are raising awareness. You are great patient advocate and Trevor does a great job of sharing the tales of your journey. -Judy
ReplyDeleteThank you Judy, for your support always!
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