A Tale of No Filter...
Hello my fellow readers. Trevor here, with our September tale. On the eve of Brenda's 11th Craniversary or what she refers to as the anniversary of her craniotomy, we thought that exploring the subject of possessing no filter would be appropriate.
Brenda does live with frontal lobe syndrome, which is considered an acquired brain injury, as a result of having had a craniotomy. You hear this often in the brain tumor community; Brain Surgery Equals Brain Injury.
This is true and in Brenda's case, it can be difficult to deal with at times. Some brain injured individuals, possess no filter. This is no fault of their own. It means that their actions cannot be controlled, due to having had their brain injured. This often happens with stroke victims. They become agitated and may lash out with cussing. Brenda herself experienced it with a stroke victim once. He was so happy to see her, but could not express what he wanted to say and started cussing. He also was gripping her hand tightly. Brenda did not understand what was happening. She does now. It took her own brain injury experience, to finally be able to understand and relate to others in similar situations.
Brenda does however, react more quickly with tears or anger, when something is thrust upon her. This occurs when you don't give her a chance to assess the situation. It can simply become too overwhelming for Brenda. She doesn't want to purposely hurt anyone, but you need to be gentle!
So in this tale, I'm going to be sharing what Brenda might want to tell you. You might find some of this uncomfortable, but think how it is for Brenda at times. You're trapped with the thoughts not coming fast enough from your brain, so someone jumps in. I'm here to tell you, that in all sincerity, this makes Brenda angry.
Brenda has the word she wants to convey on the tip of her tongue, while jumping in with your thought, quickly makes her lose concentration. Get it? Can you imagine the frustration, this could bring on?
Please let her finish what she was trying to say. Another few moments for you to chime in and wait, is not only kind, but you would also help Brenda to gain her confidence back. She has lost a lot, during this journey.
The double standard crap doesn't cut it with Brenda. Did I just use the word crap? BOL I indeed did. You can do it, but if Brenda tries something similar, you scold her. She is not 5. She is almost 60 years old and a little respect, can go a long way. You earn respect, remember that.
Brenda understands more than you know. When your brain is injured, being an acquired or traumatic injury, which Brenda has experienced several times, with head injuries, something happens to you.
You now belong to a new club, which you never asked to join in the first place. You now have to try and find a new normal. What is normal anyway? You make the best of it and try and accept, what may come your way. That's not to say that it's always easy, certainly not!
Brenda also lives with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and has been having difficulty walking lately. Her last blood pressure medication, was causing her ankles to swell. Brenda has been walking more slowly, so she can stop if she has to, if she feels her ankle rolling. When you are walking so close behind, it's aggravating and Brenda fears if she stops, you will run into her. You don't follow that close with a car, so why do you feel the need to practically be on her heels? She would prefer, that you walk ahead, so she can keep a close distance behind.
Brenda works in a medical clinic and when she sees patients coming in with a cane or wheelchair, she keeps her distance behind them. It's common sense and can prevent an injury from occurring.
These are things constantly on Brenda's mind. She also likes to shop early in the day, when there are fewer people, also because of the noise.
When she is thinking of purchasing a big item, she also prefers to be alone. She did her research on getting this Chromebook and knew what she wanted. Having someone with her, encouraging her to get something different or with other features, could be distracting and even make Brenda angry. She begins to feel overwhelmed. She needs things to be simple and even keel.
Brenda also prefers to arrive early for anything. It gives her a chance to assess the situation at hand and make sure that she doesn't experience that feeling of becoming overwhelmed.
There are several expressions that Brenda dislikes. The one; "Are you sure?" that makes Brenda feel as though you don't trust her judgment. She would never do that to you. "Good to know" comes across as condescending and irritates Brenda.
Why must you yell, when you're on your cellphones? Brenda doesn't care to hear your conversation all the way down the hallway. Did you know that your voice actually echos in a hallway, particularly a basement one. Yet, Brenda was told that her voice carries and was taken out in the hallway like a 5 year old, and the whole conversation echoed.
There are those that talk so loud and fast, and this is irritating to deal with for Brenda. If it's on the phone, it can cause Brenda to cut the conversation short. It grates on her nerves. It can be hard enough to concentrate at times, as it is.
Now the big one. Exclusion is probably the most hurtful thing that Brenda has experienced, while on this brain tumor journey. It has happened on teleconference calls. Not being included, while the rest of the callers were by name, twice, Family is another sore spot. You have to see something about your own sister on Facebook, but have yet to be informed about it in person or even notified.
Brenda has feelings and yes, she has a filter. You should be grateful for that. I've been speaking for her here, as if she didn't possess one.
Brenda gets frustrated when she cannot figure something out. Does she give up? NO!! She works at it until she can figure it out or at least use a workaround.
Not every situation is perfect and Brenda realizes this. She is grateful for those she has crossed paths with on this journey, who get what it's like to live with a brain injury.
Brenda felt it was necessary to share her story with a book; Grief Diaries: Living With A Brain Injury which was published on September 8, 2016. It later became first in the Real Life Diaries series during the month of March, which is Brain Injury Awareness Month. Both releases having great meaning for Brenda.
Getting through this experience of surviving, has meant everything to Brenda. You cannot understand or even accept it, unless you've been down this path yourself.
I think what has been shared, needed to be.
~T Man Barking Off~
Released during Brain Injury Awareness Month - March of 2017
Brenda does live with frontal lobe syndrome, which is considered an acquired brain injury, as a result of having had a craniotomy. You hear this often in the brain tumor community; Brain Surgery Equals Brain Injury.
This is true and in Brenda's case, it can be difficult to deal with at times. Some brain injured individuals, possess no filter. This is no fault of their own. It means that their actions cannot be controlled, due to having had their brain injured. This often happens with stroke victims. They become agitated and may lash out with cussing. Brenda herself experienced it with a stroke victim once. He was so happy to see her, but could not express what he wanted to say and started cussing. He also was gripping her hand tightly. Brenda did not understand what was happening. She does now. It took her own brain injury experience, to finally be able to understand and relate to others in similar situations.
Brenda does however, react more quickly with tears or anger, when something is thrust upon her. This occurs when you don't give her a chance to assess the situation. It can simply become too overwhelming for Brenda. She doesn't want to purposely hurt anyone, but you need to be gentle!
So in this tale, I'm going to be sharing what Brenda might want to tell you. You might find some of this uncomfortable, but think how it is for Brenda at times. You're trapped with the thoughts not coming fast enough from your brain, so someone jumps in. I'm here to tell you, that in all sincerity, this makes Brenda angry.
Brenda has the word she wants to convey on the tip of her tongue, while jumping in with your thought, quickly makes her lose concentration. Get it? Can you imagine the frustration, this could bring on?
Please let her finish what she was trying to say. Another few moments for you to chime in and wait, is not only kind, but you would also help Brenda to gain her confidence back. She has lost a lot, during this journey.
The double standard crap doesn't cut it with Brenda. Did I just use the word crap? BOL I indeed did. You can do it, but if Brenda tries something similar, you scold her. She is not 5. She is almost 60 years old and a little respect, can go a long way. You earn respect, remember that.
Brenda understands more than you know. When your brain is injured, being an acquired or traumatic injury, which Brenda has experienced several times, with head injuries, something happens to you.
You now belong to a new club, which you never asked to join in the first place. You now have to try and find a new normal. What is normal anyway? You make the best of it and try and accept, what may come your way. That's not to say that it's always easy, certainly not!
Brenda also lives with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and has been having difficulty walking lately. Her last blood pressure medication, was causing her ankles to swell. Brenda has been walking more slowly, so she can stop if she has to, if she feels her ankle rolling. When you are walking so close behind, it's aggravating and Brenda fears if she stops, you will run into her. You don't follow that close with a car, so why do you feel the need to practically be on her heels? She would prefer, that you walk ahead, so she can keep a close distance behind.
Brenda works in a medical clinic and when she sees patients coming in with a cane or wheelchair, she keeps her distance behind them. It's common sense and can prevent an injury from occurring.
These are things constantly on Brenda's mind. She also likes to shop early in the day, when there are fewer people, also because of the noise.
When she is thinking of purchasing a big item, she also prefers to be alone. She did her research on getting this Chromebook and knew what she wanted. Having someone with her, encouraging her to get something different or with other features, could be distracting and even make Brenda angry. She begins to feel overwhelmed. She needs things to be simple and even keel.
Brenda also prefers to arrive early for anything. It gives her a chance to assess the situation at hand and make sure that she doesn't experience that feeling of becoming overwhelmed.
There are several expressions that Brenda dislikes. The one; "Are you sure?" that makes Brenda feel as though you don't trust her judgment. She would never do that to you. "Good to know" comes across as condescending and irritates Brenda.
Why must you yell, when you're on your cellphones? Brenda doesn't care to hear your conversation all the way down the hallway. Did you know that your voice actually echos in a hallway, particularly a basement one. Yet, Brenda was told that her voice carries and was taken out in the hallway like a 5 year old, and the whole conversation echoed.
There are those that talk so loud and fast, and this is irritating to deal with for Brenda. If it's on the phone, it can cause Brenda to cut the conversation short. It grates on her nerves. It can be hard enough to concentrate at times, as it is.
Now the big one. Exclusion is probably the most hurtful thing that Brenda has experienced, while on this brain tumor journey. It has happened on teleconference calls. Not being included, while the rest of the callers were by name, twice, Family is another sore spot. You have to see something about your own sister on Facebook, but have yet to be informed about it in person or even notified.
Brenda has feelings and yes, she has a filter. You should be grateful for that. I've been speaking for her here, as if she didn't possess one.
Brenda gets frustrated when she cannot figure something out. Does she give up? NO!! She works at it until she can figure it out or at least use a workaround.
Not every situation is perfect and Brenda realizes this. She is grateful for those she has crossed paths with on this journey, who get what it's like to live with a brain injury.
Brenda felt it was necessary to share her story with a book; Grief Diaries: Living With A Brain Injury which was published on September 8, 2016. It later became first in the Real Life Diaries series during the month of March, which is Brain Injury Awareness Month. Both releases having great meaning for Brenda.
Getting through this experience of surviving, has meant everything to Brenda. You cannot understand or even accept it, unless you've been down this path yourself.
I think what has been shared, needed to be.
~T Man Barking Off~
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