A Tale of Still Single...After All These Years...

I write this particular blog with many emotions and feelings.

In less than two months time...I will be turning 50 years old. I thought at least by this time in my life...I would at least be in some sort of relationship.

Yes...I have dated some. It has been many years...and they usually never amounted to anything deep. One was actually a blind date...set up by my insurance agent. We only went out that one time. It was pleasant enough...and he was polite, etc.

There was this one guy...who wanted to see me every night. Now, that was just a little bit too eager for me. He also drank and smoked right in my face mind you. This was actually a guy from church.

I am right here telling all of you...that there are no guarantees...what kind of person you will meet...even in a church setting.

I guess for me... a spontaneous happening would be the best kind. I have been single for so long.

Believe me, I know all the right things to say. Like when someone asks you...where is your husband? I usually just tell them, that he hasn't shown up yet. I get rid of a lot of pesky phone calls this way. I recently met with my financial planner...and I told him the same thing. He actually got quite a chuckle out of it.

Now...I also am here to tell you, that I am comfortable with who I am. I have been told that my best feature is my nose..and that I look pretty good for my age. In fact..people usually never believe me...when I tell them how old I am. I simply don't look my age.

I'm also here to tell you...that I get very lonely at times. It would be nice to be able to go out for dinner and a movie...a long drive or a walk.

Holidays are especially tough for me..because everywhere you look..there are couples everywhere, enjoying the festivities...which is just another reminder, that one more year has passed and I am still alone.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself here. I am just expressing some feelings, that I have felt for a very long time.

I also probably am somewhat particular in the type of person...I would desire to have as...first and foremost as a friend, and then if the fates would allow...a possible lifetime partner. I also would like to have the joy of knowing what real dating is really like. I have never been to a fancy restaurant or had a romantic evening of any kind.

I am also going to write something here that is very very personal to me. I have never been with a man intimately that is. Yes, I am a VIRGIN. I have nothing to be ashamed of here, as some would probably think otherwise. I said, this was very difficult to write.

I had an experience with a guy once..and we only had one date. He was just way too pushy and eager. He didn't even know me. He just kept saying..that we would let nature take its course. I made it pretty plain to him..that I had no intentions of doing this until I was married. He said...he had never met a gal like me. I just didn't feel comfortable with him...and I told him so. He was just too aggressive, for my liking.

Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, how do I have the right to act this way? I realize, this is not the norm.

I feel that I have waited this long...that I have and deserve the very best when it comes to a relationship...that being a man who will see me for who I am and respect me.

I have a lot to offer. I am not talking about sex here. I am a kind, generous person, who only wants to know the joy of knowing and experiencing some kind of friendship, relationship with the opposite sex.

I told you...that this was very personal for me. I just don't wish to be alone for the rest of my life.

I've been told..that when you least expect it...love can come to you.

I'm here to tell you...that I haven't given up on that DREAM just yet.