Tale of Losing a Best Friend...
Trevor, The Tell Tale Dog, here again, to introduce another tale of Brenda's life.
Last Tuesday, May 31, 2011, Brenda's mom...her best friend in life lost her battle with congestive heart failure. She fought hard, but it was evident for some time, that her life on this earth would be coming to an end. She had her for 2 months longer than anyone had hoped.
It was during that time, that Brenda begin to realize that it would be so important to be able to have those heart to heart talks. She had many. She was able to tell her mom just how important she was to her and that she hoped that someday, she would be half the woman that her mom was.
Her mom replied with, "Some day you will be." Even up until the very end Brenda's mom encouraged her and told her not to feel bad about anything. She realizes, Brenda did everything she could. If she could have, she would have taken care of her herself but, that was just not feasible or possible.
Brenda was working full-time during all of this. She visited her mom almost every day. If she couldn't get there, she would either call the nurses or try to talk to her on the phone. That grew more difficult, as the days started to grow shorter for her time here.
Brenda had a very special Mother's Day, as she got to take her mom outside for a wheelchair ride and look at the flowers. She was telling Brenda about all the different kinds. You see, Brenda's mom used to have a beautiful vegetable garden and she also had a green thumb when it came to flowers.
Her mom told her that was really nice of her to take her outside. That made Brenda feel so good inside.
When you are dying different things begin to happen. Her mom started to see things that were not there...but Brenda would tell her that she didn't see them and it was okay if she did. Brenda always asked her if what she was seeing scared her? If it was...then they made sure that her mom would take something, so they would disappear.
Another thing that happens and it's no fault of their own, is that their personality changes. They become agitated more easily or angry. Brenda really understood this, because of what she has gone through since her brain surgery. It was still at the same time hard to see, as this was not her mom, as she knew her.
Brenda's mom did have some good days within those 2 months. Those are the days, that Brenda cherishes the most.
Brenda would grow impatient or upset at times too. She is only human.
The hardest part was seeing her mom suffer with any kind of pain. The last week was probably the hardest. The important part was just to keep her as comfortable as possible.
There was an evening when her mom just did not want to take her pills. It took some convincing on Brenda's part, but she just decided that being upfront with her mom was the best way to go.
She told her that she has never lied to her and that she would not start now. She told her that those pills would help to calm her down and not make her so afraid. You see, they face fear too, as with lack of oxygen and not enough nutrition, starts to kill off brain cells.
She agreed to take them and did have a good night's sleep. She had taken something earlier that day, that Brenda and the nurses think, just set off a bad reaction. It happens.
Over the next few days, things just seemed to be getting worse. Brenda's mom was starting to imagine that things were going on and she had to reassure her that just was not so.
Last Sunday, Brenda, was able to take her mom for her last wheelchair ride outside for just a few minutes. They did sit in the lobby and had a little talk.
Then on Monday, things really started to get bad. Brenda's mom was in much more pain and just did not want be touched, but they had to turn her every couple of hours.
When Brenda arrived on Tuesday morning, her mom was resting comfortably and she did not speak anymore. Brenda sat with her most of the day, but she knew it would only be a day or so more at best.
Dying is a process and sometimes, some of the aspects of it are just not so beautiful. No one wants to see their loved ones scared or in pain.
That's where Brenda was at. Before she left that afternoon she told her mom that she would see her tomorrow, but if she wanted to go to Heaven tonight, that would be okay, because her Dad and sister were waiting for her.
She went home and at 5:45 p.m. she received a call that her mom had passed at 5:40 p.m. Brenda felt such a relief, that her mom was no longer suffering or in pain.
On Saturday, June 4, 2011, her family and friends gathered for her mom's celebration. That's just what it was. Brenda told me, that everything was beautiful, the singing, the message and Brenda was able to grant her mom's wish of reading a tribute to her.
Her mom wrote her own obituary, had picked out her songs, her favorite Bible verses, so it was really the way she wanted it. Iris, Brenda's sister, had talked with Brenda's mom ahead of time about what songs she would like played before the celebration. As they were doing this Brenda's mom said, "I would like to be there." I am sure she was in spirit and she would have been so proud.
Brenda lost her best friend in life...but she left her a wonderful legacy and she is so blessed to have had a wonderful relationship with her mom, as that is so rare.
Brenda will miss her mom very much, but she also has so many wonderful memories to carry in her heart.
Lastly, Brenda would like to thank everyone, who has been so kind with your words of encouragement and especially your prayers, during this most difficult time.
Last Tuesday, May 31, 2011, Brenda's mom...her best friend in life lost her battle with congestive heart failure. She fought hard, but it was evident for some time, that her life on this earth would be coming to an end. She had her for 2 months longer than anyone had hoped.
It was during that time, that Brenda begin to realize that it would be so important to be able to have those heart to heart talks. She had many. She was able to tell her mom just how important she was to her and that she hoped that someday, she would be half the woman that her mom was.
Her mom replied with, "Some day you will be." Even up until the very end Brenda's mom encouraged her and told her not to feel bad about anything. She realizes, Brenda did everything she could. If she could have, she would have taken care of her herself but, that was just not feasible or possible.
Brenda was working full-time during all of this. She visited her mom almost every day. If she couldn't get there, she would either call the nurses or try to talk to her on the phone. That grew more difficult, as the days started to grow shorter for her time here.
Brenda had a very special Mother's Day, as she got to take her mom outside for a wheelchair ride and look at the flowers. She was telling Brenda about all the different kinds. You see, Brenda's mom used to have a beautiful vegetable garden and she also had a green thumb when it came to flowers.
Her mom told her that was really nice of her to take her outside. That made Brenda feel so good inside.
When you are dying different things begin to happen. Her mom started to see things that were not there...but Brenda would tell her that she didn't see them and it was okay if she did. Brenda always asked her if what she was seeing scared her? If it was...then they made sure that her mom would take something, so they would disappear.
Another thing that happens and it's no fault of their own, is that their personality changes. They become agitated more easily or angry. Brenda really understood this, because of what she has gone through since her brain surgery. It was still at the same time hard to see, as this was not her mom, as she knew her.
Brenda's mom did have some good days within those 2 months. Those are the days, that Brenda cherishes the most.
Brenda would grow impatient or upset at times too. She is only human.
The hardest part was seeing her mom suffer with any kind of pain. The last week was probably the hardest. The important part was just to keep her as comfortable as possible.
There was an evening when her mom just did not want to take her pills. It took some convincing on Brenda's part, but she just decided that being upfront with her mom was the best way to go.
She told her that she has never lied to her and that she would not start now. She told her that those pills would help to calm her down and not make her so afraid. You see, they face fear too, as with lack of oxygen and not enough nutrition, starts to kill off brain cells.
She agreed to take them and did have a good night's sleep. She had taken something earlier that day, that Brenda and the nurses think, just set off a bad reaction. It happens.
Over the next few days, things just seemed to be getting worse. Brenda's mom was starting to imagine that things were going on and she had to reassure her that just was not so.
Last Sunday, Brenda, was able to take her mom for her last wheelchair ride outside for just a few minutes. They did sit in the lobby and had a little talk.
Then on Monday, things really started to get bad. Brenda's mom was in much more pain and just did not want be touched, but they had to turn her every couple of hours.
When Brenda arrived on Tuesday morning, her mom was resting comfortably and she did not speak anymore. Brenda sat with her most of the day, but she knew it would only be a day or so more at best.
Dying is a process and sometimes, some of the aspects of it are just not so beautiful. No one wants to see their loved ones scared or in pain.
That's where Brenda was at. Before she left that afternoon she told her mom that she would see her tomorrow, but if she wanted to go to Heaven tonight, that would be okay, because her Dad and sister were waiting for her.
She went home and at 5:45 p.m. she received a call that her mom had passed at 5:40 p.m. Brenda felt such a relief, that her mom was no longer suffering or in pain.
On Saturday, June 4, 2011, her family and friends gathered for her mom's celebration. That's just what it was. Brenda told me, that everything was beautiful, the singing, the message and Brenda was able to grant her mom's wish of reading a tribute to her.
Her mom wrote her own obituary, had picked out her songs, her favorite Bible verses, so it was really the way she wanted it. Iris, Brenda's sister, had talked with Brenda's mom ahead of time about what songs she would like played before the celebration. As they were doing this Brenda's mom said, "I would like to be there." I am sure she was in spirit and she would have been so proud.
Brenda lost her best friend in life...but she left her a wonderful legacy and she is so blessed to have had a wonderful relationship with her mom, as that is so rare.
Brenda will miss her mom very much, but she also has so many wonderful memories to carry in her heart.
Lastly, Brenda would like to thank everyone, who has been so kind with your words of encouragement and especially your prayers, during this most difficult time.
One year before her passing
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