A Tale of Courage & Coping...
This blog is going to be about my struggles the last couple of weeks. : (
I really thought that I had come through the worst...having been diagnosed with a nonmalignant brain tumor, having it removed and beginning of recovery.
Well, let me tell you folks....it hasn't been an easy ride the last few weeks. Besides all the frustration with trying to hold down a full time job..when I am really fatigued at the end of the day...I really get frustrated very easily.
I also am still struggling with my lack of concentration being thrown off....especially if I am interrupted, before I can get my train of thought across. I also have problems grasping certain aspects of life...that used to be easy for me. Just part of the process. I just have to learn to take it slower and not let myself become so overwhelmed. Easier said than done.
It's extremely frustrating and sometimes makes me wonder...why do I have to endure so much? Am I really that strong? I know some of you think so and for that...I am truly grateful. : ) I am no superwoman...I have my down times too.
I don't fight my tears anymore...won't win anyway. My anger has been much more intense as of late and then the tears come..because I feel so ashamed. This is all part of having a frontal lobe tumor removed. We are more emotional than most people...just a fact of life.
The fact of the matter is...this is not my fault. It simply is what it is. What I do with those feelings of anger...determines if I am doing something right or wrong.
That's why I write. It helps put things in perspective for me. True...I didn't ask for this brain tumor...but a lot of us didn't ask for the cards we have been dealt in life.
My new mantra is "IT IS WHAT IT IS."
Just for the record....I CAN'T BE STRONG ALL THE TIME! I realize, I don't have to be and this really helps take the pressure off.
My mission continues to be the same...to help others. I just wanted to share with you that I am human...and sometimes I need that feeling that what I am doing has not been wasted.
We all need to be needed. It's what gives us purpose and meaning.
I will keep fighting and taking it one day at a time...make that one minute at a time.
Keys to coping...realize that you will get through a tough situation. Find someone...with whom... you can blow off some steam. For me...that has been my mom. I spend almost every weekend with her and this helps her too...so she does not have to be alone. : )
We have been talking a lot... and it really helps, to be able to get those feelings of anger and frustration out there, so they can be dealt with properly.
I realize, these emotions could be around for a long time....it's all part of "THE NEW NORMAL ME"....and you wanna know something? That's pretty okay.
I am still the same old Brenda...who cares about other people...who struggle.. maybe more so...because I have come through so much myself.
It's great to be able to express your own private feelings. It's so refreshing and can really give one...peace of mind.
Brenda : )
I really thought that I had come through the worst...having been diagnosed with a nonmalignant brain tumor, having it removed and beginning of recovery.
Well, let me tell you folks....it hasn't been an easy ride the last few weeks. Besides all the frustration with trying to hold down a full time job..when I am really fatigued at the end of the day...I really get frustrated very easily.
I also am still struggling with my lack of concentration being thrown off....especially if I am interrupted, before I can get my train of thought across. I also have problems grasping certain aspects of life...that used to be easy for me. Just part of the process. I just have to learn to take it slower and not let myself become so overwhelmed. Easier said than done.
It's extremely frustrating and sometimes makes me wonder...why do I have to endure so much? Am I really that strong? I know some of you think so and for that...I am truly grateful. : ) I am no superwoman...I have my down times too.
I don't fight my tears anymore...won't win anyway. My anger has been much more intense as of late and then the tears come..because I feel so ashamed. This is all part of having a frontal lobe tumor removed. We are more emotional than most people...just a fact of life.
The fact of the matter is...this is not my fault. It simply is what it is. What I do with those feelings of anger...determines if I am doing something right or wrong.
That's why I write. It helps put things in perspective for me. True...I didn't ask for this brain tumor...but a lot of us didn't ask for the cards we have been dealt in life.
My new mantra is "IT IS WHAT IT IS."
Just for the record....I CAN'T BE STRONG ALL THE TIME! I realize, I don't have to be and this really helps take the pressure off.
My mission continues to be the same...to help others. I just wanted to share with you that I am human...and sometimes I need that feeling that what I am doing has not been wasted.
We all need to be needed. It's what gives us purpose and meaning.
I will keep fighting and taking it one day at a time...make that one minute at a time.
Keys to coping...realize that you will get through a tough situation. Find someone...with whom... you can blow off some steam. For me...that has been my mom. I spend almost every weekend with her and this helps her too...so she does not have to be alone. : )
We have been talking a lot... and it really helps, to be able to get those feelings of anger and frustration out there, so they can be dealt with properly.
I realize, these emotions could be around for a long time....it's all part of "THE NEW NORMAL ME"....and you wanna know something? That's pretty okay.
I am still the same old Brenda...who cares about other people...who struggle.. maybe more so...because I have come through so much myself.
It's great to be able to express your own private feelings. It's so refreshing and can really give one...peace of mind.
Brenda : )
Comments
Post a Comment