A Tale of Helping or Hurting...

I am going to bring out both sides here...good and bad.

The best thing you can do for a person going through a difficult time, is just to stand by them. This is a time when they don't need to be judged or written off.

Realize, we all go through deep waters at times in our lives.

I believe...in that helping or encouraging someone... even when you, yourself are experiencing a trial is okay. You are actually doing two things...you are helping someone else and it helps you get your mind off of your troubles or problems, at least for a little while. It can truly be a win-win situation. 

I have personally been the type of person who enjoys giving others encouragement. I like to do something and it goes like this. I like to find one specific thing I like about an individual and expound on that. It can be a personality trait...or what I notice they do for others...to make their life easier.

Now here is something to really think about. NO TWO PEOPLE are going to feel exactly the same about any given issue. Remember...we are all in different stages of our journeys. Here is a perfect example. I have high blood pressure...but that doesn't mean it is going to be exactly the same all the time. It goes up and down...just as our emotions do.

There are ways that you can help a person...who is feeling down, etc. They are really so simple. You can e-mail..your friend..you can send them a card. If you bake, do crafts...well you get the idea. You have no idea what one random act of kindness can do for a person's self esteem. For me personally...an encouraging word or someone making me laugh can do wonders. I know of people who have that special gift of encouraging others and making them laugh. That's a real healthy way of getting your mind off your troubles.

The other spectrum is the guise of help...or what I call hurting...is when you do this with only yourself in mind. You say whatever comes to mind, without any consideration for that individual's feelings or not knowing..truly what, that person is going through.

I think it is a very dangerous thing, to judge someone especially when it may seem that they are at their lowest point. The way to truly help them get out of that "PIT OF DESPAIR"...is just to be there. That is all...JUST BE THERE!

I realize...there are people out there that thrive on having others hold their hand constantly and not willing to be pro-active in finding help for themselves...but there is the other side of the spectrum with people who really want to be pro-active and find that help and encouragement in a safe and healthy way.

Some people just think it is their duty because they may receive a sudden urgency and really haven't thought the situation through...not realizing how much harm or hurt they could be actually be inflicting upon that person.

There has to be a balance here. When someone comes to you...genuinely wanting a helping hand...that's where I think it's okay to offer suggestions. If it has not been voiced or asked for and you see...the person going through a deep trial...try just being there for them. It can be as simple as sitting quietly with them.

You have to learn how to balance this out. We don't have all the answers and we should never presume that we do.

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