A Tale of Remembering My Big Sister...
My big sister Beverly or Bev....as she liked to be called...passed away on an early Friday morning on June 6, 2003...from colorectal cancer. I remember it raining that day...and I felt just like the rain. I had lost my favorite sister in the whole wide world.
Bev was the core of our family. She was incredibly kind and had a great sense of humor. Her obituary explained it as an engaging giggle. She was a very positive person...and she had many friends...as we found out while she was ill and even afterwards.
Bev lived out her illness with grace and humility. Or as she would say humidity. Bev was really silly that way. I learned many things from her. I think the most important thing she taught me....was common sense.
Bev was such a practical person. She was that way...when she gave you a gift. It was actually something you could use.
She was the middle child. She was always teased about being the favorite. She always told me...that I was her favorite youngest sister. I was her youngest sister. lol
Bev was actually about 12 1/2 years older...but we had a great relationship. She always supported me...in my singing. She attended all my high school functions...where I usually sang solos.
I actually sang at her wedding. One of the songs that I sang...was also sung...by my niece at her funeral. It was one of her favorites. She would always say...if I ever get married...I want this at my wedding. It was "My Tribute" or To God Be The Glory.
Bev got married at age 39...and yes, it was her first marriage. She and my brother-in-law were married for 15 wonderful years. She called him the love of her life. This is a pretty amusing story. They actually went together for 12 years. In fact the day of her funeral...my brother-in-law asked me...if I ever thought they would ever get married? I said NO!
When she got engaged...I didn't believe her. I actually made her come to my apartment that night and show me the ring. She was so happy. Good things come to those who wait. This is actually kinda comical..since she was not a very patient person in other respects. She was always in a hurry. Shopping with her...was like running a race...because she walked so fast...I had a hard time keeping up with her.
She always told me that I was patient though. She always encouraged me.
We actually had a lot in common. We both went to the same Junior College right here in Bismarck. She and I both have names beginning with the letter B.
We actually had 3 of the same teachers in college. When she went off to college in the summer...after she graduated from high school...I was starting 1st grade that Fall.
She got her first and only job...with the state. She worked her way up in the division and was the deputy state registrar...at the time of her death. She missed her 36th year by one day.
She was appreciated by many of her co-workers as was demonstrated...when they brought a Turkey dinner to my mom & dad's.... and we were all invited.
Bev stayed with my mom & dad for most of her illness. Thank goodness... they were there.
She loved to read. After she passed...we found out...that she had over 500 books. Many were donated to different places.
When she became ill...that year for Christmas...she decided that instead of giving presents to each other...that she would give to charities instead. Mom & I have been doing this ever since her death. I feel it is a way of honoring her and at the same time..we are helping those...who really need it.
Speaking of honoring her...Mom & I go out for dinner every year on June 6th and also on her birthday...which would have been September 26th. She would have been 61 this year.
She was always so healthy for the most part. She thought she just had the flu. By the time she was diagnosed...she was already stage 3 or 4. She had a fifty-fifty chance of survival..of course we did not know this at the time. I found all of this out the day of her funeral. She would have only been with us for 5 years at best...and she would have suffered terribly. She had done so already.
It was really hard seeing her like that. She continued her positive attitude. I have to tell you this neat little story. A day after her first surgery...we were talking on the phone..and she told me and I really think she wanted to say this...while she was still able. She said that I would always be her little sister and that she loved me. I have that to cling to...and nobody can take that away from me. That is a great comfort.
I have some really great memories of Bev. The very best was when she took me out for my 21st birthday. She taught me how to love spinach leaves. We had a great time.
She was great with my parents too. Being she worked here in Bismarck and also had a home on the farm near McClusky...she kept her apartment here..after she got married. Anyway...she made every effort to come and play cards with my parents once a week. She always made time for family. She attended most of the weddings..family reunions, etc.
Another thing she did for me...and I didn't think of this until after she had died. I had just moved into a different apartment. She was unable to help with the move...as she had another commitment that morning. Later that day..she showed up and washed all my dishes and helped me put my kitchen in order. Now...I did not ask her to do this. That's how she demonstrated her kindness.
On a side note...this blog was inspired by my mom. We were talking about Bev last weekend...and I asked her...if she would like me to do a blog? She said yes. The title was also her idea. She is really an inspiration!
Bev and her husband did not have any children...which I was really grateful for. It would be hard losing one of your parents...when you are a teenager...or anytime.
Bev had a great faith in God...and she lived her life to the fullest. She was a genuine person...and she exhibited kindness to everyone that she met.
When I was younger...I loved when her friends would come and visit...because they would always let me sit on their lap. They never treated me...like I was a pest. I may have been though. lol.
I liked a lot of her friends and I was always included. After college I lived with Bev and another sister for over a year...until I got my first real job.
I remember that we all liked "Snackin Cakes." Do you remember those? They were the best. Anyway...we could hardly wait to get it out of the oven to eat...and we would cut it in 3 pieces. They were really little cakes..so we weren't really being gluttons. lol They sure were tasty! YUM YUM!
When she got sick...she really came to understand what I struggle with...in regards to my RA.
I really do miss her. At times...I find myself...even after over 6 years...wanting to tell her something...and then I realize, that she is gone.
We had a standing question...that I would ask her...when she came home for weekends...just after she had started her job. We would be getting ready for bed...and I would usually stay with her...and I would ask her...What did you do today? She would always tell me graciously...and go into her work day. I really appreciated that she treated me like a real person.
Bev....I miss you....but I am really glad that you were my big sister.
Love,
Bev was the core of our family. She was incredibly kind and had a great sense of humor. Her obituary explained it as an engaging giggle. She was a very positive person...and she had many friends...as we found out while she was ill and even afterwards.
Bev lived out her illness with grace and humility. Or as she would say humidity. Bev was really silly that way. I learned many things from her. I think the most important thing she taught me....was common sense.
Bev was such a practical person. She was that way...when she gave you a gift. It was actually something you could use.
She was the middle child. She was always teased about being the favorite. She always told me...that I was her favorite youngest sister. I was her youngest sister. lol
Bev was actually about 12 1/2 years older...but we had a great relationship. She always supported me...in my singing. She attended all my high school functions...where I usually sang solos.
I actually sang at her wedding. One of the songs that I sang...was also sung...by my niece at her funeral. It was one of her favorites. She would always say...if I ever get married...I want this at my wedding. It was "My Tribute" or To God Be The Glory.
Bev got married at age 39...and yes, it was her first marriage. She and my brother-in-law were married for 15 wonderful years. She called him the love of her life. This is a pretty amusing story. They actually went together for 12 years. In fact the day of her funeral...my brother-in-law asked me...if I ever thought they would ever get married? I said NO!
When she got engaged...I didn't believe her. I actually made her come to my apartment that night and show me the ring. She was so happy. Good things come to those who wait. This is actually kinda comical..since she was not a very patient person in other respects. She was always in a hurry. Shopping with her...was like running a race...because she walked so fast...I had a hard time keeping up with her.
She always told me that I was patient though. She always encouraged me.
We actually had a lot in common. We both went to the same Junior College right here in Bismarck. She and I both have names beginning with the letter B.
We actually had 3 of the same teachers in college. When she went off to college in the summer...after she graduated from high school...I was starting 1st grade that Fall.
She got her first and only job...with the state. She worked her way up in the division and was the deputy state registrar...at the time of her death. She missed her 36th year by one day.
She was appreciated by many of her co-workers as was demonstrated...when they brought a Turkey dinner to my mom & dad's.... and we were all invited.
Bev stayed with my mom & dad for most of her illness. Thank goodness... they were there.
She loved to read. After she passed...we found out...that she had over 500 books. Many were donated to different places.
When she became ill...that year for Christmas...she decided that instead of giving presents to each other...that she would give to charities instead. Mom & I have been doing this ever since her death. I feel it is a way of honoring her and at the same time..we are helping those...who really need it.
Speaking of honoring her...Mom & I go out for dinner every year on June 6th and also on her birthday...which would have been September 26th. She would have been 61 this year.
She was always so healthy for the most part. She thought she just had the flu. By the time she was diagnosed...she was already stage 3 or 4. She had a fifty-fifty chance of survival..of course we did not know this at the time. I found all of this out the day of her funeral. She would have only been with us for 5 years at best...and she would have suffered terribly. She had done so already.
It was really hard seeing her like that. She continued her positive attitude. I have to tell you this neat little story. A day after her first surgery...we were talking on the phone..and she told me and I really think she wanted to say this...while she was still able. She said that I would always be her little sister and that she loved me. I have that to cling to...and nobody can take that away from me. That is a great comfort.
I have some really great memories of Bev. The very best was when she took me out for my 21st birthday. She taught me how to love spinach leaves. We had a great time.
She was great with my parents too. Being she worked here in Bismarck and also had a home on the farm near McClusky...she kept her apartment here..after she got married. Anyway...she made every effort to come and play cards with my parents once a week. She always made time for family. She attended most of the weddings..family reunions, etc.
Another thing she did for me...and I didn't think of this until after she had died. I had just moved into a different apartment. She was unable to help with the move...as she had another commitment that morning. Later that day..she showed up and washed all my dishes and helped me put my kitchen in order. Now...I did not ask her to do this. That's how she demonstrated her kindness.
On a side note...this blog was inspired by my mom. We were talking about Bev last weekend...and I asked her...if she would like me to do a blog? She said yes. The title was also her idea. She is really an inspiration!
Bev and her husband did not have any children...which I was really grateful for. It would be hard losing one of your parents...when you are a teenager...or anytime.
Bev had a great faith in God...and she lived her life to the fullest. She was a genuine person...and she exhibited kindness to everyone that she met.
When I was younger...I loved when her friends would come and visit...because they would always let me sit on their lap. They never treated me...like I was a pest. I may have been though. lol.
I liked a lot of her friends and I was always included. After college I lived with Bev and another sister for over a year...until I got my first real job.
I remember that we all liked "Snackin Cakes." Do you remember those? They were the best. Anyway...we could hardly wait to get it out of the oven to eat...and we would cut it in 3 pieces. They were really little cakes..so we weren't really being gluttons. lol They sure were tasty! YUM YUM!
When she got sick...she really came to understand what I struggle with...in regards to my RA.
I really do miss her. At times...I find myself...even after over 6 years...wanting to tell her something...and then I realize, that she is gone.
We had a standing question...that I would ask her...when she came home for weekends...just after she had started her job. We would be getting ready for bed...and I would usually stay with her...and I would ask her...What did you do today? She would always tell me graciously...and go into her work day. I really appreciated that she treated me like a real person.
Bev....I miss you....but I am really glad that you were my big sister.
Love,
Brenda
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