Tale of Goodbye Dad...

My dad passed away on August 3, 2007.....after losing a battle with Alzheimer's Disease. For those of you that have had parents or family members with this devastating and awful disease....you will understand some of the things....I will bring out here.

The biggest thing with my dad was his personality change. All he wanted to do was sleep....it was like he had just given up. There were times....when his mind was clear...but that was few and far between toward the end of his life.

I want to share with you....the things I remember about him before he was diagnosed and "THE LONG GOODBYE" began.

My dad was a Chief of Police and the city utility worker....for over 30 years. We lived in a small town. Now...I do mean small...219 to be EXACT! : )

He was a hard worker and a good provider. People on the whole...did respect him...but there were a few jokers along the way.

We lived on the outskirts of the city limits. I grew up under very modest circumstances. We did not have running water in our house...until I was in Junior High. At Halloween....they would like to move our outhouse up in front of our house. They thought it was so funny. By the next morning...they would have to come and move it back.

We finally moved into a new house. Boy....we were living now! lol My point is here....is that I appreciate everything that I have today. I was taught...that if you wanted something...you had to work for it. We never were hungry...always had clothes on our backs. Got lots of hand me downs...because I had 4 other sisters. They were always new....to me...because they were different.

The best thing I got from my dad...was his work ethic.

My dad used to call me "Little Squealer"....because I could chirp like a cricket. He would have me blow our town whistle....before we went automatic...and pump our well for the town water. You didn't want to drink out of the tap...because it was so salty...and if you had heart disease...etc.

He worked us hard...you see he never had any boys. He was some what of a bulldog...and that he would never give up on something. I know.....that's why I am so stubborn at times.

He also liked his dish of ice cream....most every night....before he would go to bed. He even once told us...that the doctor said he should have it. lol

He liked to sing....as we all do. He taught me to say the animals names in German. He also thought it was so important that I learn the alphabet...how the police uses them...when they call something in. For example A-Adam..B-Boy...etc. I still know them to this day...although I am sure some have changed over the years.

I remember those special times with my dad...because the last 4 years of his life were so very different and really sad at times. : (

I know...he was proud of me too. One time...mom & dad...were waiting for me...as I was finishing up my shift as receptionist at the clinic where I work. We were really busy and a lot was going on. I overheard him say...she really seems to know what she is doing. That was a proud moment for me. I know...that he would never tell me that in person...but that was good enough for me. I knew how he felt.

He had a great love for horses. He had a pony named "Scout"....when he was a boy. He talked about them all the time. I really enjoyed listening to his old time stories. Though...each time...they had a little different version to them. lol. We would watch The Triple Crown Races...most every year on TV. Mom and I...still watch to this day.

When he would get really bad...with his illness and want to go out at night...and feed the cattle...you see....he had now gone back to his old days and it became so real to him. The best thing to do is just to play along. I would tell him that I fed the horses and this would really seem to calm him down. Never argue with a person with Alzheimer's. They don't understand the difference anyway...and why not just try to keep the peace?

He had his days and nights mixed up. He would get undressed during the day and go to bed...and when it was night....he would get dressed thinking it was time to get up. You just had to laugh at some of this. It was the only way...you wouldn't lose your perspective yourself.

Mom was great with him...as I will get into her life more in another blog. She seemed to be the only one...who could calm him down or talk him out of something. He never believed me...when I said she had gone...he would have to open the garage door...to see for himself.

He liked to watch the old videos. He really liked "Laurel and Hardy" and "The Our Gang" or "The Little Rascals"....as they are also called.

He loved to laugh. He loved to play cards...as he could sit for hours.

I know he loved mom very much. They were together for almost 64 years. She took care of him just shy of a few weeks...when we had to put him in a nursing home....some 80 miles away. That was truly a sad day for both of us.

We followed the van that was taking him. He was very restless and kept wanting to move around. He really kept the driver busy.

When we got there....I really don't think he realized....where he was. He knew it was some place different. At lunch....they had ice cream and he was happy as a clam. lol.

That afternoon...mom had to meet with different people...to make arrangements, etc. I found half a salted nut roll candy bar in mom's purse. I gave that to him and that seemed to calm him down. He was so restless. He wanted to keep going to the toilet. He had a catheter....but you see....he just didn't understand this.

 

 Anyway....he insisted and he was determined to get there. He pulled so hard that the buzzer went off and I couldn't get it to stop. The maintenance lady...was kind enough to come in and offer to help. She gets on her walkie talkie and says she needs help in his room. I looked over at dad....and said, "Your first day here and you are causing a ruckus already." I just had to laugh.

That was Thursday...he was gone by the following week on Friday morning. Mom & I were planning to visit him....that Saturday. We didn't even get to say goodbye. I do think in retrospect....we had done that a long time ago.

My dad was a good one for giving advice...but this one backfired big time. He would always tell us when we drove on a country road...to not drive so fast...because we would hit a rock and knock the gas tank out.

 Well...this same thing happened to him...only it was on the highway. We were driving back to Bismarck...and we saw this big rock on the road...he could not swerve away from it and guess what? He knocked a big hole in our gas tank! lol Luckily...the car did not burst into flames....we were close to a relative and he helped us and drove us back.

He had his sayings..."Don't Think For A Minute I Won't" and my favorite...."Mark My Words."

He got along with most people...along his journey. My grandpa told him..."Don't ever get into public service." That's just what he did. I'm glad he did and that he was my dad. Goodbye and Rest in Peace.